It is 'Itchy Scratchy' time again! The flush of confidence following our (beautiful bunny) 20 week scan is starting to wane again as we head towards the 24 week point. No reason to feel glum AT ALL - but for reasons I cannot fathom I do .... Not helped in ANY small part by just sitting down to watch (why do I DO this to myself) that series on SBS tv called "Waiting For A Heartbeat."
Jeez Louise I should just go in and manually rip out my own heart!! Many of you have perhaps seen it? I am sure it was made several years ago and followed the stories of several "me's" (which is easier to say than "Us's") on their journeys through multiple miscarriages and how St Marys in the UK was offering 'new hope.' I found myself saying - don't listen to them (the experts) - don't listen to those stats - don't get hopeful - no - no - no - then sure enough one by one each story deteriorated. Oooohhhh MaaaaaN why did I put the tellie on AT ALL?? Someone change the channel!! My husband is away at work again unfortunately so unless the microwave decided to take control no-one was listening. Thankfully one girl - Rachel - went home with a baby at least so YAY RACHEL!! And then I remembered HANG ON ...... !
That's NOT me - there IS a baby. There IS a baby and by all accounts - he/she is going great guns! SNAP OUT OF IT WOMAN!!!!!
Oh but I just get so itchy scratchy anxious at about this time. This time - halfway between scans - is like littlies learning to walk and hanging on to someone's hand and then letting go and warbling across the room to lunge heavily into the other hand. I'm halfway across the room and warbling up a storm ....
Our next scan has been brought forward (at my request) by 48 hours so that we will have the opportunity to tell our 'first REAL LIVE IN THE FLESH people'. My sister, her husband and three little poppetts are coming up to visit on Friday 27th April. This is now our new scan date. IF the news is good news - we have decided to road test the 'big reveal' on them (a bit of a thank you for driving all this way to see us) - and then bravely moving on to bigger 'reveal' numbers after that. IF, on the other hand the news is bad then, with the inclusion of my totally wonderfully loving husband, I couldn't ask for a better, more supportive security blanket.
The posts in Blogland of late have again been so lovely and positive - thank god - so many new beautiful babies in the world. I cyber hug you ALL! To the rest of you warbling around the room with me - stay strong and don't turn on the bloody tv!!!!!!
Monday, 16 April 2012
Saturday, 31 March 2012
Our 20 week old Bunny Rabbit xx oo
So our beautiful little darling is sending out his/her first ever message to mum and dad - "I want a rabbit" - "I want a rabbit and I want it with floppy ears please" - you got it Sweetheart (and lovely manners)! One little bunny rabbit coming right up!! Would you like it in pink or blue??? Perhaps we'll hold off on a real one just for the time being but maybe - after today - I might get brave enough to make my first ever baby purchase ..... hmmmm a stuffed bunny .... who would have ever thought it would be a stuffed bunny?? OH WAIT - I get it - you're reminding it's EASTER!! Is that it?? EASTER BUNNY!!! Holy Toledo - am I having a gifted child?? Really?? So do you still want the bunny or just a load of eggs in decorative foil?? .... hmmmm .... I think we'll stick with the bunny shall we? No need to meet the Tooth Fairy before you've even got a tooth!!
So yes - here we are - I am so very relieved, happy and proud to introduce you to our darling little 20 week old cherub! We have spent a very long day today helping my parents with their Clearing Sale (1.5 Hrs away). So it's been a big day but we've also had 'scan day' on our minds, so that's made it even bigger. This evening I have rushed home again - knackered - quickly rev'ed up the computer and scanned the incoming emails like a mad woman on crack. There it was - breeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeath in - and - click to open - and scan scan scan - no time to blink - scan scan scan - ahhhh the words I am looking for again:- We are happy to inform you that Dr. Shivani has reviewed the reports & found everything within normal limit.
JOY TO THE WORLD!!!!!!!! Fa La LA LAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! xo xo
And to our many new SCI Blog-friends who continue to amaze us with their honest and heart felt updates - we thank you so much and I for one send e-hugs to you all. We seem to be in quite a 'baby peak hour' at the moment which just makes the experience so much better and more managable - to all you little newborns out there (are you listending Hayden?) - please keep getting stronger every day, and start bracing for a life full of love and cuddles ............... and stuffed bunnies??
Thursday, 22 March 2012
Time Wasters
I have been thoroughly enjoying the rush of posts in the last few days - all of the ones I have been reading seem to be filled with good and/or positively entertaining news. Thank you so much and well done!! I am so sorry if you have received sad news and are now wondering what freakin' planet I am on - I assure you I have not read your post and my biggest warmest hugs reach out to you my friend!
As for me - I am almost into that next final week that leads up to another milestone scan and therefore am getting all itchy scratchy again!! Our 20 week scan (yes it's a biggie!) is due on March 31st and so by April 1st I may well have hyper-ventilated myself into one hell of an anxious messy state on the floor!! Joy.
Anyway - as per usual I am looking for useless mindless tasks that help me to pass the time (that ISN'T housework or real work related) - and last weekend I got it into my head that I needed to know - in table form - what the last 10 years of infertilty has looked like!!! Yeah I know - some people get a pet!!
So I went through all of my diarys and re-lived the light and dark days of our infertility 'challenge'. The table below will most likely cause your eyes to cross over and your brain to ache so I don't really expect you to read it - but it has certainly helped me to see our struggle in a snap shot - and to reflect on why we have become the people we are (perhaps) today. Fancy being able to condense so much pain into such a tiny little piece of paper! Has anyone else done this exercise??
My husband and I started our 'challenge' in 2002 and by 2005 had lost 4 naturally conceived pregnancies (before 10 weeks).
We then hopped on the 'IVF Train' and had NO IDEA of the itinerary and if we HAD known the itinerary - we would have got back OFF the bloody train IMMEDIATELY and just emailled SCI that afternoon!!!!!
But ..... we didn't .... so we couldn't and you know how it goes - what doesn't kill you makes you stronger so we are Mr and Mrs Strongo-bongo from the Congo ha ha hear us ROAR!!
So here's my very pretty chart that no-one will be able to understand that has helped me waste a good 6 hours in its production! We are yet to experience the joy of parenthood - so to everyone else - like us - waiting on the next bit of scan news Love Love LOVE to you!!!
Jacaranda xx
As for me - I am almost into that next final week that leads up to another milestone scan and therefore am getting all itchy scratchy again!! Our 20 week scan (yes it's a biggie!) is due on March 31st and so by April 1st I may well have hyper-ventilated myself into one hell of an anxious messy state on the floor!! Joy.
Anyway - as per usual I am looking for useless mindless tasks that help me to pass the time (that ISN'T housework or real work related) - and last weekend I got it into my head that I needed to know - in table form - what the last 10 years of infertilty has looked like!!! Yeah I know - some people get a pet!!
So I went through all of my diarys and re-lived the light and dark days of our infertility 'challenge'. The table below will most likely cause your eyes to cross over and your brain to ache so I don't really expect you to read it - but it has certainly helped me to see our struggle in a snap shot - and to reflect on why we have become the people we are (perhaps) today. Fancy being able to condense so much pain into such a tiny little piece of paper! Has anyone else done this exercise??
My husband and I started our 'challenge' in 2002 and by 2005 had lost 4 naturally conceived pregnancies (before 10 weeks).
We then hopped on the 'IVF Train' and had NO IDEA of the itinerary and if we HAD known the itinerary - we would have got back OFF the bloody train IMMEDIATELY and just emailled SCI that afternoon!!!!!
But ..... we didn't .... so we couldn't and you know how it goes - what doesn't kill you makes you stronger so we are Mr and Mrs Strongo-bongo from the Congo ha ha hear us ROAR!!
So here's my very pretty chart that no-one will be able to understand that has helped me waste a good 6 hours in its production! We are yet to experience the joy of parenthood - so to everyone else - like us - waiting on the next bit of scan news Love Love LOVE to you!!!
Jacaranda xx
Own ICSI
Cycles
2005 - 2008
|
Eggs
Retrieved
|
Eggs
Fertilised
|
Eggs
Frozen
|
Eggs
Arrested (or did not make to freeze/transfer)
|
No. Eggs
Transfrd
|
1st
|
2
|
2
|
-
|
1
|
1
|
2nd
|
8
|
6
|
3
|
1
|
2
|
FET
|
-
|
-
|
-
|
-
|
2
|
FET
|
-
|
-
|
-
|
-
|
1
|
3rd
|
(3 follicles but 0 eggs)
|
-
|
-
|
-
|
-
|
4th
|
2
|
2
|
0
|
1
|
1
(5th pregnancy)
|
5th
|
2
|
1
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
6th
|
6
|
5
|
0
|
3
|
2
|
7th
|
5
|
1
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
8th
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
2
|
0
|
OWN TOTALS
|
27
|
17
|
3
|
10
|
9
|
(then) Aussie Friend(s) Donor Egg ICSI Cycles
2008 - 2010
|
|||||
9th
|
13
|
11
|
2
|
8
|
1
(6th pregnancy)
|
FET
|
-
|
-
|
-
|
-
|
1
|
FET
|
-
|
-
|
-
|
-
|
1
|
10th
|
28
|
14
|
2
|
10
|
2
(7th pregnancy)
|
(then) Frozen (Aussie Donor Egg + Own Sperm) Embryo
transferred to Indian Surrogate
2011
|
-
|
-
|
-
|
-
|
2
|
(then) Indian Egg Donor + Own (frozen)
Sperm ICSI Cycle using Indian Surrogate
2011 - 2012
|
?
|
?
|
?
|
?
|
2 (8th ‘pregnancy’)
|
Grand TOTALS
|
68+
|
42+
|
7+
|
28+
|
18
|
Tuesday, 6 March 2012
The 16 Week Hurdle has now been CLEARED!
Yes - It's good news. Thanks be to EVERYTHING!
Our 16 week scan (email) came through at 8.39pm on March 1st but we were at a First Birthday Party up the road (40km) and decided to open it up with fresh eyes and brave hearts the next morning.
...... Its as if the air leaves the room isn't it? - and you are left in a vacuum of apprehension clicking open the Outlook Envelope icon .... then staring at the screen .... almost hoping the all important email hasn't arrived yet ... at least then you're given slightly more blessedly ignorant time to live in!
But there it was - and my husband clicked the final button to read the magic words half way down .... "...we are happy to inform you....." .... and ex-hale Ooooooohhhhhh!!! ..... Air comes rushing back in to the room!!
The stats (again - that don't mean much to me because I am not a Specialist - but at the same time I obsess over - not sure why - because if something wasn't right I'd never pick it unless highlighted in fluorescent yellow and underlined in red!) are:
Approx. gestinational age: 15 weeks 5 days (1st March 2012)
The placenta is posterior, low lying, not previa, grade O
Normal active and passive movements are seen (thats a new thing to report - and makes me happy)
Heart Rate 148bpm
BPD - 29mm
HC - 117mm
AC - 98mm (new)
FL - 18mm (new)
Weight - 132 grams +/- 12% (another new thing - and even though I have no idea if this is a good, bad or indifferent weight I am still very happy to see it).
Nasal bone is seen.
The fetal head shows normal ventricular system. The posterior fossa is normal. The fetal spine, limbs, cord insertion, 3 vessel cord, UB, stomach bubble show no apparent abnormality.... new ...new...new!
We are still unable to accept that this could all result in a beautiful bouncing baby in July/August but we ARE able to accept that we are another big step closer!!
So I thought it might be best to check in with SCI to see if we were meant to be doing ANYTHING (i.e. beurocracy related for example) at this point. Apparently we are not! Just trying to get through to 27 weeks and then start proceedings then.
So here I am trying to do nothing :)
Our next scan would be due in the first few days of April I expect so our anxiety levels will just steadily rise in small daily increments until then.
My annual leave ends next Tuesday so being back at work might be a blessing actually (seriously did I just type that?).
I have been reading everyone elses BLOGS a lot and once again I thank you all sooooo much for sharing your stories as well!! They are better than any drugs out there and I would love to think that I might meet some of you one day ....
...who knows?
Much love
Jacaranda XX
Our 16 week scan (email) came through at 8.39pm on March 1st but we were at a First Birthday Party up the road (40km) and decided to open it up with fresh eyes and brave hearts the next morning.
...... Its as if the air leaves the room isn't it? - and you are left in a vacuum of apprehension clicking open the Outlook Envelope icon .... then staring at the screen .... almost hoping the all important email hasn't arrived yet ... at least then you're given slightly more blessedly ignorant time to live in!
But there it was - and my husband clicked the final button to read the magic words half way down .... "...we are happy to inform you....." .... and ex-hale Ooooooohhhhhh!!! ..... Air comes rushing back in to the room!!
The stats (again - that don't mean much to me because I am not a Specialist - but at the same time I obsess over - not sure why - because if something wasn't right I'd never pick it unless highlighted in fluorescent yellow and underlined in red!) are:
Approx. gestinational age: 15 weeks 5 days (1st March 2012)
The placenta is posterior, low lying, not previa, grade O
Normal active and passive movements are seen (thats a new thing to report - and makes me happy)
Heart Rate 148bpm
BPD - 29mm
HC - 117mm
AC - 98mm (new)
FL - 18mm (new)
Weight - 132 grams +/- 12% (another new thing - and even though I have no idea if this is a good, bad or indifferent weight I am still very happy to see it).
Nasal bone is seen.
The fetal head shows normal ventricular system. The posterior fossa is normal. The fetal spine, limbs, cord insertion, 3 vessel cord, UB, stomach bubble show no apparent abnormality.... new ...new...new!
We are still unable to accept that this could all result in a beautiful bouncing baby in July/August but we ARE able to accept that we are another big step closer!!
So I thought it might be best to check in with SCI to see if we were meant to be doing ANYTHING (i.e. beurocracy related for example) at this point. Apparently we are not! Just trying to get through to 27 weeks and then start proceedings then.
So here I am trying to do nothing :)
Our next scan would be due in the first few days of April I expect so our anxiety levels will just steadily rise in small daily increments until then.
My annual leave ends next Tuesday so being back at work might be a blessing actually (seriously did I just type that?).
I have been reading everyone elses BLOGS a lot and once again I thank you all sooooo much for sharing your stories as well!! They are better than any drugs out there and I would love to think that I might meet some of you one day ....
...who knows?
Much love
Jacaranda XX
Tuesday, 21 February 2012
Thumb Twiddling Time
I do not have ANY exciting news today but just needed to touch base.
There are 8 more sleeps left before our '16 week' scan on March 1st and I think I am developing a stomach ulcer. Not really but I like to errr on the side of melo-dramatic. I cannot get our next scan out of my head and no amount of distracting activities will do it.
Our trip down to New Zealand was absolutely wonderful - many laughs and good food in spectacular settings. It was LOVELY! Our (3 person) part of the 'Remarkable Seven' (me + husband + friend) only got to stay for 8 days, while the 'others' got to stay on for 14 (lucky). So we only got to see the South Island with overnighters in Christchurch, Hokitika, Haast, Queenstown (3 nights), Dunedin (a castle!) and Wellington (once we had broken away from the main group). We said we were on a "Protiki Tour" that put us halfway between a 'Contiki Tour' and a 'Probus Group' ha ha. Well we thought it was funny! As such we did not Bungy Jump (some more regretful about this than others) but we did go White Water Rafting, Jet Boating and down a 'Luge' themed structure on purpose built 'Go-carts'.
Now that we are back home I still have 3 more weeks of annual leave to go and sometimes that is not such a good thing! Too much thinking time!! Too much Thumb Twiddling! At least my husband - who works away in Oil & Gas fields (2 weeks away : 2 weeks home) is home again after only one week this time so thats great. Having him around certainly helps BIG TIME!! He can still make me laugh after 16 years of knowing him.
We are keeping our expectations around about ground level but every now and then we allow ourselves the luxury of a little 'what if...' scenario. Of the warm and fuzzy variety. But almost as quickly we stop and seriously our hearts turn to lead because we are are just so damaged and we can't really imagine this pregnancy going to term. Yes - we've made it further than ever before - and we have the smallest glimmer of hope - but we have been through too much and all of our 'ignorance is bliss' chromosomes have been taken away and disposed of. It's tough when you can never actully 'enjoy' a pregnancy.
Man! I need to get out into the garden now (which is struggling to survive our February - water quality here is dire) - or perhaps go for a bone jarring ride on my bike out to the farm. Anything to avoid this rising anxiety anyway! Too early for a beer? Lunchtime - yes too early! I'll start making lunch then!! That's what I'll do!!
Thank you for listening.
Over and Out!
Jacaranda XX
There are 8 more sleeps left before our '16 week' scan on March 1st and I think I am developing a stomach ulcer. Not really but I like to errr on the side of melo-dramatic. I cannot get our next scan out of my head and no amount of distracting activities will do it.
Our trip down to New Zealand was absolutely wonderful - many laughs and good food in spectacular settings. It was LOVELY! Our (3 person) part of the 'Remarkable Seven' (me + husband + friend) only got to stay for 8 days, while the 'others' got to stay on for 14 (lucky). So we only got to see the South Island with overnighters in Christchurch, Hokitika, Haast, Queenstown (3 nights), Dunedin (a castle!) and Wellington (once we had broken away from the main group). We said we were on a "Protiki Tour" that put us halfway between a 'Contiki Tour' and a 'Probus Group' ha ha. Well we thought it was funny! As such we did not Bungy Jump (some more regretful about this than others) but we did go White Water Rafting, Jet Boating and down a 'Luge' themed structure on purpose built 'Go-carts'.
Now that we are back home I still have 3 more weeks of annual leave to go and sometimes that is not such a good thing! Too much thinking time!! Too much Thumb Twiddling! At least my husband - who works away in Oil & Gas fields (2 weeks away : 2 weeks home) is home again after only one week this time so thats great. Having him around certainly helps BIG TIME!! He can still make me laugh after 16 years of knowing him.
We are keeping our expectations around about ground level but every now and then we allow ourselves the luxury of a little 'what if...' scenario. Of the warm and fuzzy variety. But almost as quickly we stop and seriously our hearts turn to lead because we are are just so damaged and we can't really imagine this pregnancy going to term. Yes - we've made it further than ever before - and we have the smallest glimmer of hope - but we have been through too much and all of our 'ignorance is bliss' chromosomes have been taken away and disposed of. It's tough when you can never actully 'enjoy' a pregnancy.
Man! I need to get out into the garden now (which is struggling to survive our February - water quality here is dire) - or perhaps go for a bone jarring ride on my bike out to the farm. Anything to avoid this rising anxiety anyway! Too early for a beer? Lunchtime - yes too early! I'll start making lunch then!! That's what I'll do!!
Thank you for listening.
Over and Out!
Jacaranda XX
Wednesday, 1 February 2012
Blimey!
I am really happy to report a new PB!!!
According to the email this morning (opened squinting through one eye and holding my breath until I was purple) we have officially made it past the first 12 weeks!!!!! I am soooo relieved - I know that our mountain ahead is still extremely steep - but just for today I am going to smile - and relax - and enjoy the 'longest pregnancy I have ever been a part of'!!! I have been smiling on the inside all day!! Pheeew it's so nice to have some good news up your sleeve for a change and not a heavy ol' heart that is dragging around behind you!!
Anway - for my show and tell today here is what our report is saying now....
So there you go! Blimey indeed!!
We are flying down to New Zealand tomorrow morning with a lovely group of friends and this news has just made it so much sparklier!!! Thank you so MUCH for the wonderful notes you are adding to my blogs ! I am really begining to LOVE this new Blog World and I hope we can all enjoy a lovely L-O-N-G relationship!!!
You are still the only ones that know our secret!!
Jacaranda XX
According to the email this morning (opened squinting through one eye and holding my breath until I was purple) we have officially made it past the first 12 weeks!!!!! I am soooo relieved - I know that our mountain ahead is still extremely steep - but just for today I am going to smile - and relax - and enjoy the 'longest pregnancy I have ever been a part of'!!! I have been smiling on the inside all day!! Pheeew it's so nice to have some good news up your sleeve for a change and not a heavy ol' heart that is dragging around behind you!!
Anway - for my show and tell today here is what our report is saying now....
- HR 168 Bpm
- Approx gestational age 12 weeks 3 days
- BPD 17 mm
- HC 65 mm
- CRL 55mm
- Nuchal Lucency 0.9 mm
- Nasal bone seen
- Ductus venosus shows normal flow
So there you go! Blimey indeed!!
We are flying down to New Zealand tomorrow morning with a lovely group of friends and this news has just made it so much sparklier!!! Thank you so MUCH for the wonderful notes you are adding to my blogs ! I am really begining to LOVE this new Blog World and I hope we can all enjoy a lovely L-O-N-G relationship!!!
You are still the only ones that know our secret!!
Jacaranda XX
Tuesday, 17 January 2012
Eggshells
The 10 week scan results are in and I find myself in familiar territory. I have only just read them and now have to shoot off to work but will now be thinking about it all day - "We would like to inform you that Dr. Shivani has reviewed
the reports & noted that "a sac is seen without
cardiac activity" which means she is carrying singleton pregnancy.
We are very sorry that there is only one heartbeat". OK! So we are still hanging in there - but - now I feel sad and anxious and shakey with a touch of nausea. You try so hard NOT to think of your lovely "life ahead with twins" - because you're not there yet - but you DO and it makes you smile and then BAM - you can't - it's gone! Like I said - familiar territory - and I need to recover and concentrate on our little survivor. Please survive little one! Please survive!! You have made it this far - come one - hang in there - pleeeaaaasseeee!!!!! XX OO
Saturday, 14 January 2012
Chilling Out?
We have now reached that stage in 'our pregnancy' when I have lost all of our previous seven pregnancies. Of course the main difference this time is - it's not me!!! Nevertheless I am like a cat on a hot tin roof!! Breath holding gets really uncomfortable after the first week and my overly active imagination has slipped into fifth gear. I'm also a nurse - so I have a medically enhanced over active imagination - which is not good!! Not good at all!! Luckily enough however - SCI knows just how to deal with overly active medically enhanced active imaginations like mine - and if you read between the lines I'd be keen to hear if you can pick it ............
Me: We are still very pleased (and nervous) about these good news scans and wish R***** continued good health. Could you please tell me if there is a concern when the CRL measurements are always approx 1 week behind gestational age? Also - I understand our next scan will be due in approx 3 days time so our ‘fingers are crossed’ for those results as well.
SCI: Dear Jacaranda, Greetings from SCI Healthcare!!!! We thank you for your e-mail and hope you are doing fine. We would like to inform you that everything is fine and your babies are measuring well. We would like to request you to please do not worry. We are taking good care of R***** and your precious pregnancy. We will keep you updated with the further progress and new status.
Ha Ha - so what do you think? I think they are saying "Sigh - Chill Out Girlfriend" So now I'm trying to Chill out and disengage my imagination entirely which is proving increasingly difficult as I watch Australia play India in the Cricket (sorry about the series guys xx), that guy from 'Grand Designs' tour Mumbai and in fact every second documentary at the moment being based in India somewhere!! All very lovely if our next results are positive - all very painful if they are not.
If the news IS positive (and the next umpteen news bulletins are equally as positive) we have been told that "we" will be completing our 37 weeks of pregnancy on 24th July 2012. That the Cesarean is normally planned at 37 weeks, and that in some cases twins come at 36 weeks. So in view of everything, we have been advised we may need to fly up approx 20th July 2012..............
Oh man - when I start typing things like that I get all weird and nervous again!!
Breathe in ..... Breathe out .... Breath in ........
Before I go (and perhaps lie down for a while ha ha) I have a confession to make. It will prove (once AGAIN) how new to this Blogging thing I really AM!! Rather naively it seems I thought I was just contributing to a Surrogacy in India themed group of people and CLEARLY I am not!! I am in fact flailing around in a theme-less world where anybody can write anything for anyone to read about anything :) !! So for those of you reading my first blog and wondering why I didn't go into too much detail - that's why. For those of you sharing this Surrogacy in India theme with me (and actually even those who are not) - standby for next positive/negative results and know that I am simply Breathing in - Breathing out .......
Jacaranda xx
Me: We are still very pleased (and nervous) about these good news scans and wish R***** continued good health. Could you please tell me if there is a concern when the CRL measurements are always approx 1 week behind gestational age? Also - I understand our next scan will be due in approx 3 days time so our ‘fingers are crossed’ for those results as well.
SCI: Dear Jacaranda, Greetings from SCI Healthcare!!!! We thank you for your e-mail and hope you are doing fine. We would like to inform you that everything is fine and your babies are measuring well. We would like to request you to please do not worry. We are taking good care of R***** and your precious pregnancy. We will keep you updated with the further progress and new status.
Ha Ha - so what do you think? I think they are saying "Sigh - Chill Out Girlfriend" So now I'm trying to Chill out and disengage my imagination entirely which is proving increasingly difficult as I watch Australia play India in the Cricket (sorry about the series guys xx), that guy from 'Grand Designs' tour Mumbai and in fact every second documentary at the moment being based in India somewhere!! All very lovely if our next results are positive - all very painful if they are not.
If the news IS positive (and the next umpteen news bulletins are equally as positive) we have been told that "we" will be completing our 37 weeks of pregnancy on 24th July 2012. That the Cesarean is normally planned at 37 weeks, and that in some cases twins come at 36 weeks. So in view of everything, we have been advised we may need to fly up approx 20th July 2012..............
Oh man - when I start typing things like that I get all weird and nervous again!!
Breathe in ..... Breathe out .... Breath in ........
Before I go (and perhaps lie down for a while ha ha) I have a confession to make. It will prove (once AGAIN) how new to this Blogging thing I really AM!! Rather naively it seems I thought I was just contributing to a Surrogacy in India themed group of people and CLEARLY I am not!! I am in fact flailing around in a theme-less world where anybody can write anything for anyone to read about anything :) !! So for those of you reading my first blog and wondering why I didn't go into too much detail - that's why. For those of you sharing this Surrogacy in India theme with me (and actually even those who are not) - standby for next positive/negative results and know that I am simply Breathing in - Breathing out .......
Jacaranda xx
Saturday, 7 January 2012
River Life
WOW! 9 comments I am super amazed and a little stunned - how did you all find me? Anyway - that's not important right now what IS important is that we have had a successful 8 week scan in the days since my Grand Opening Blog Day!! Phew and Yay x 1000!! I have raced inside after beeing away for 5 days (in Yarrawonga Vic - on the river - 11 hours drive - but LOVLEY!!) to press the ON button so hard I nearly went through it to see what SCI had to say whilst I was away ..... all the time assuming the standard 'it'll be ok if it's bad news posture and breathing method... it'll be ok, we've been through devastating news so many times we'll be ok we'll be ok ..... why is this thing taking SO DAMN LONG TO LOAD UUUUUPPPP???? ...... but thankfully the lovely green cursive writing was in the 'positive' and I can breath like a normal person again. I really need to go and un-pack the car now (it's brimming) and my husband would possibly like a hand so see you again soon my new dear friends!!
Jacaranda XX
Jacaranda XX
Friday, 30 December 2011
Well Look At Me - I'm A Blogger!
Well I never thought I'd see the day when I became a Blogger - so I guess New Years Eve is as good a day as any!!!
It goes without saying that I am new to this world so my Blog will be 'Plain Jane' not 'Sparkle Barbie' for the foreseeable future. OK! To get on with my story .... I live in Australia and I am married. Too brief? OK! We live 3 hours from the nearest capital city in a lovely town that has less than 1,000 people in it (a lot less actually - hence my anonymity). We have been married for 10 years and 10 months and have been trying to have children for 10 years and 6 months (yes - hilarious now to think we used a condom for 4 months ha ha) - Too much information now? Man! This is a tough gig!!
How do you quickly sum up 10 years and 6 months of unsuccessfully trying to have children? Well it's fairly easy really but I'm guessing Blogland doesn't look too favouably upon excessive use of expletives so I shall simply say:
I have been a proud client of SCI since a close e-girlfriend of mine did all the research just over a year ago and now together (not geographically speaking) we are boldly going where so many of you have been before!! We have BOTH ridden the pshychotic rollercoaster of excitement joy and devastation already and both have our stories to tell....
But I am the one with too much time on her hands right now so without further adieu I will tentatively, anxiously, nervously and very unconfidently let you know that according to the emails I am currently receiving .... will be 'expecting' twins sometime in July 2012!!
Yes I know it is FAR too early to be cracking anything with bubbles in it just yet but I just had to tell SOMEONE that I wasn't married to and you're it cupcake!!
Given my sordid history above - I won't even be LOOKING at anything with bubbles in it until at least "11 weeks" and even then it will only have about 3 bubbles in it as I hold my breath ... but still .... the potential is there!! I have read so many of your blogs and I have appreciated them so much! They are so raw and honest and so very valuable. Please know that scaredy cats like me are reading them - even if we don't make a comment - and we are drawing a strength and a sense of camaraderie from each of their good, bad and ugly outcomes.
Righto then - I have talked far too long on my first visit so it's time to go prepare something for tonights NYE bbq up the road!
If this blog really goes where it's meant to - and somebody accidentally finds it and reads it - please let me know - I will get soooo excited ha ha!! HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE and may any saddness that has befallen you in 2011 become another layer of resilience for you in 2012. Let's tackle it head on and see where it takes us ......... XX
It goes without saying that I am new to this world so my Blog will be 'Plain Jane' not 'Sparkle Barbie' for the foreseeable future. OK! To get on with my story .... I live in Australia and I am married. Too brief? OK! We live 3 hours from the nearest capital city in a lovely town that has less than 1,000 people in it (a lot less actually - hence my anonymity). We have been married for 10 years and 10 months and have been trying to have children for 10 years and 6 months (yes - hilarious now to think we used a condom for 4 months ha ha) - Too much information now? Man! This is a tough gig!!
How do you quickly sum up 10 years and 6 months of unsuccessfully trying to have children? Well it's fairly easy really but I'm guessing Blogland doesn't look too favouably upon excessive use of expletives so I shall simply say:
- 7 miscarriages (4 following natural conceptions, 1 following ICSI, 2 following use of Donor eggs) - none surviving beyond 11 weeks.
- A total of 9 separate ICSI Cycles (mostly fresh) and 3 ICSI Donor Egg Cycles (2 fresh) over a heart-breakingly l-o-n-g 5 year period.
- NKU, MTHFR, Bicornuate Uterus, Anticoagulant Lupus, Rapidly deteriorating egg supply and Crap sperm (sorry dearheart xx oo).
I have been a proud client of SCI since a close e-girlfriend of mine did all the research just over a year ago and now together (not geographically speaking) we are boldly going where so many of you have been before!! We have BOTH ridden the pshychotic rollercoaster of excitement joy and devastation already and both have our stories to tell....
But I am the one with too much time on her hands right now so without further adieu I will tentatively, anxiously, nervously and very unconfidently let you know that according to the emails I am currently receiving .... will be 'expecting' twins sometime in July 2012!!
Yes I know it is FAR too early to be cracking anything with bubbles in it just yet but I just had to tell SOMEONE that I wasn't married to and you're it cupcake!!
Given my sordid history above - I won't even be LOOKING at anything with bubbles in it until at least "11 weeks" and even then it will only have about 3 bubbles in it as I hold my breath ... but still .... the potential is there!! I have read so many of your blogs and I have appreciated them so much! They are so raw and honest and so very valuable. Please know that scaredy cats like me are reading them - even if we don't make a comment - and we are drawing a strength and a sense of camaraderie from each of their good, bad and ugly outcomes.
Righto then - I have talked far too long on my first visit so it's time to go prepare something for tonights NYE bbq up the road!
If this blog really goes where it's meant to - and somebody accidentally finds it and reads it - please let me know - I will get soooo excited ha ha!! HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE and may any saddness that has befallen you in 2011 become another layer of resilience for you in 2012. Let's tackle it head on and see where it takes us ......... XX
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