Our 20 week old Bunny Rabbit xx oo

So our beautiful little darling is sending out his/her first ever message to mum and dad - "I want a rabbit" - "I want a rabbit and I want it with floppy ears please" - you got it Sweetheart (and lovely manners)! One little bunny rabbit coming right up!! Would you like it in pink or blue??? Perhaps we'll hold off on a real one just for the time being but maybe - after today - I might get brave enough to make my first ever baby purchase ..... hmmmm a stuffed bunny .... who would have ever thought it would be a stuffed bunny?? OH WAIT - I get it - you're reminding it's EASTER!! Is that it?? EASTER BUNNY!!! Holy Toledo - am I having a gifted child?? Really?? So do you still want the bunny or just a load of eggs in decorative foil?? .... hmmmm .... I think we'll stick with the bunny shall we? No need to meet the Tooth Fairy before you've even got a tooth!!

So yes - here we are - I am so very relieved, happy and proud to introduce you to our darling little 20 week old cherub! We have spent a very long day today helping my parents with their Clearing Sale (1.5 Hrs away). So it's been a big day but we've also had 'scan day' on our minds, so that's made it even bigger. This evening I have rushed home again - knackered - quickly rev'ed up the computer and scanned the incoming emails like a mad woman on crack. There it was - breeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeath in - and - click to open - and scan scan scan - no time to blink - scan scan scan - ahhhh the words I am looking for again:- We are happy to inform you that Dr. Shivani has reviewed the reports & found everything within normal limit.


JOY TO THE WORLD!!!!!!!! Fa La LA LAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! xo xo


And to our many new SCI Blog-friends who continue to amaze us with their honest and heart felt updates - we thank you so much and I for one send e-hugs to you all. We seem to be in quite a 'baby peak hour' at the moment which just makes the experience so much  better and more managable - to all you little newborns out there (are you listending Hayden?) - please keep getting stronger every day, and start bracing for a life full of love and cuddles ............... and stuffed bunnies??      

Time Wasters

I have been thoroughly enjoying the rush of posts in the last few days - all of the ones I have been reading seem to be filled with good and/or positively entertaining news. Thank you so much and well done!! I am so sorry if you have received sad news and are now wondering what freakin' planet I am on - I assure you I have not read your post and my biggest warmest hugs reach out to you my friend!

As for me - I am almost into that next final week that leads up to another milestone scan and therefore am getting all itchy scratchy again!! Our 20 week scan (yes it's a biggie!) is due on March 31st and so by April 1st I may well have hyper-ventilated myself into one hell of an anxious messy state on the floor!! Joy.

Anyway - as per usual I am looking for useless mindless tasks that help me to pass the time (that ISN'T housework or real work related) - and last weekend I got it into my head that I needed to know - in table form - what the last 10 years of infertilty has looked like!!! Yeah I know - some people get a pet!!

So I went through all of my diarys and re-lived the light and dark days of our infertility 'challenge'. The table below will most likely cause your eyes to cross over and your brain to ache so I don't really expect you to read it - but it has certainly helped me to see our struggle in a snap shot - and to reflect on why we have become the people we are (perhaps) today. Fancy being able to condense so much pain into such a tiny little piece of paper! Has anyone else done this exercise??

My husband and I started our 'challenge' in 2002 and by 2005 had lost 4 naturally conceived pregnancies (before 10 weeks).

We then hopped on the 'IVF Train' and had NO IDEA of the itinerary and if we HAD known the itinerary - we would have got back OFF the bloody train IMMEDIATELY and just emailled SCI that afternoon!!!!!

But ..... we didn't .... so we couldn't and you know how it goes - what doesn't kill you makes you stronger so we are Mr and Mrs Strongo-bongo from the Congo ha ha hear us ROAR!!

So here's my very pretty chart that no-one will be able to understand that has helped me waste a good 6 hours in its production! We are yet to experience the joy of parenthood - so to everyone else - like us - waiting on the next bit of scan news Love Love LOVE to you!!!

Jacaranda xx
     

Own ICSI Cycles 2005 - 2008	Eggs Retrieved	Eggs Fertilised	Eggs Frozen	Eggs Arrested (or did not make to freeze/transfer)	No. Eggs Transfrd
1st	2	2	-	1	1
2nd	8	6	3	1	2
FET	-	-	-	-	2
FET	-	-	-	-	1
3rd	(3 follicles but 0 eggs)	-	-	-	-
4th	2	2	0	1	1 (5th pregnancy)
5th	2	1	0	1	0
6th	6	5	0	3	2
7th	5	1	0	1	0
8th	2	0	0	2	0
OWN TOTALS	27	17	3	10	9
(then) Aussie Friend(s) Donor Egg ICSI Cycles 2008 - 2010
9th	13	11	2	8	1 (6th pregnancy)
FET	-	-	-	-	1
FET	-	-	-	-	1
10th	28	14	2	10	2 (7th pregnancy)
(then) Frozen (Aussie Donor Egg + Own Sperm) Embryo transferred to Indian Surrogate 2011	-	-	-	-	2
(then) Indian Egg Donor + Own (frozen) Sperm ICSI Cycle using Indian Surrogate 2011 - 2012	?	?	?	?	2 (8th ‘pregnancy’)
Grand TOTALS	68+	42+	7+	28+	18

The 16 Week Hurdle has now been CLEARED!

Yes - It's good news. Thanks be to EVERYTHING!

Our 16 week scan (email) came through at 8.39pm on March 1st but we were at a First Birthday Party up the road (40km) and decided to open it up with fresh eyes and brave hearts the next morning.

...... Its as if the air leaves the room isn't it? - and you are left in a vacuum of apprehension clicking open the  Outlook Envelope icon .... then staring at the screen .... almost hoping the all important email hasn't arrived yet ...  at least then you're given slightly more blessedly ignorant time to live in!

But there it was - and my husband clicked the final button to read the magic words half way down .... "...we are happy to inform you....." .... and ex-hale Ooooooohhhhhh!!!  .....  Air comes rushing back in to the room!!

The stats (again - that don't mean much to me because I am not a Specialist - but at the same time I obsess over - not sure why - because if something wasn't right I'd never pick it unless highlighted in fluorescent yellow and underlined in red!) are:

Approx. gestinational age: 15 weeks 5 days (1st March 2012)
The placenta is posterior, low lying, not previa, grade O
Normal active and passive movements are seen (thats a new thing to report - and makes me happy)
Heart Rate 148bpm
BPD - 29mm
HC - 117mm
AC - 98mm (new)
FL - 18mm (new)
Weight - 132 grams +/- 12% (another new thing - and even though I have no idea if this is a good, bad or indifferent weight I am still very happy to see it).
Nasal bone is seen.
The fetal head shows normal ventricular system. The posterior fossa is normal. The fetal spine, limbs, cord insertion, 3 vessel cord, UB, stomach bubble show no apparent abnormality.... new ...new...new!

We are still unable to accept that this could all result in a beautiful bouncing baby in July/August but we ARE able to accept that we are another big step closer!!

So I thought it might be best to check in with SCI to see if we were meant to be doing ANYTHING (i.e. beurocracy related for example) at this point. Apparently we are not! Just trying to get through to 27 weeks and then start proceedings then.

So here I am trying to do nothing :)

Our next scan would be due in the first few days of April I expect so our anxiety levels will just steadily rise in small daily increments until then.

My annual leave ends next Tuesday so being back at work might be a blessing actually (seriously did I just type that?).

I have been reading everyone elses BLOGS a lot and once again I thank you all sooooo much for sharing your stories as well!! They are better than any drugs out there and I would love to think that I might meet some of you one day  ....

...who knows?

Much love
Jacaranda XX