Re-grouping ...

Yay - at 11.34pm last night we thankfully received word that despite being kept in hospital now for observation our surrogate is still carrying our baby and apparently ".... her uterus was relaxed..." Pheeewwww .... and breathe again.

Regarding the visa debarkle!! This is the email that firstly alerted me to the fact we may have a problem - this was their first email to me regarding my husbands visa application received and bare in mind we live 300km from ADELAIDE i.e. in SOUTH AUSTRALIA ....
 

This is in with regard to your visa application. You are to appear before the Consular Officer for interview with a copy of the agreement for surrogacy with {our surrogate}. You are also required to provide copy of the Australian legislation which permits you to enter into this kind of agreement.

So of course once I'd picked myself up off the floor I had to email back to politely explain a couple of things firstly -  we live in South Australia and would therefore find it rather difficult to attend an interview in Sydney (approx 1,500km away). Secondly that my husband could not attend any interviews anywhere just at the moment becasue he was stuck out on a rig in the absolute middle of freakin' nowhere and that he wouldn't be due back into Civilisation for another 7 days. I also explained that our applications had been sent to Sydney in the first place as it was the recommended option (i.e. recommended by them) on their web site.

So that was all 7 days ago now. In the meantime my tourist visa turned up 4 days ago (Tourist Visa). My husband has been without his passprt for 2 weeks. And for the benefit of anyone caught up in this little nightmare in the future here is a list of ALL documents requested and sent SO FAR by them:

• The Passport
• The completed MEDICAL visa application
• A letter from SCI (Dr Shivani) certifying who our surrogate was and that she was indeed 'our' surrogate and the expected date of birth of our baby and the approximate dates that SCI would request us to be in India.
• A letter from the Department of Immigration and Citizenship with our reference number and DNA Testing offer
• A letter from SCI (Dr Shivani) declaring my husband as the sole intended parent (i.e. and not the surrogate) of the child born via surrogacy and outlining the genetic connection to my husband.
• The fully signed copy of our agreement with our surrogate - yes all 7MB worth and 34 pages.
• Then it seemed that 'Page 32' was mising from said agreement and so 24 hours later that had to be retrieved and sent across ............  
• And NOW - this morning - a copy of a Marriage Certificate and...
• "an undertaking signed by you and your husband stating that you will take good care of the child born through surrogacy".

From where I'm sitting - it seems to be never ending and increasingly frustrating - the GOOD news of course is that our surrogate is more comfortable now and I didn't need to get on the next flight out of Adelaide! So my husband (who I got taken off the rig early) and I back home now re-grouping and breathing and murmering 'it'll be alright - it'll be alright'. Of course I am also busily arranging accommodation that may or may not be needed earlier than expected and the Green Leaf man is being very accommodating - phew and thank you so much!!

Jacaranda xx

Nightie Night

I'd love to up date you on progress but unless I make something up I can't. Fingers remain crossed that our surrogate is doing ok and that our baby continues to enjoy their little world of snuggness. No word yet from the visa people either - yay - so my husbands visa application has now been lodged for two weeks without a result  ......  its been 48 hours since our last 'mild contractions' email I'm guesing no news is good news? Breathe!  Ok so it's 11.30pm here now so I guess I just go to bed??? Nightie Night World. Nightie Night baby!! XX

Start boiling up some water someone!

Okaaaaay so it seems our lovely surrogate is having some mild contractions (!) and it seems she's been having them for two or three days now(!!!). Of course SCI have kept us informed since she was admitted to HOSPITAL (!) on Thursday night - our time. And we've been in a mini cyclone ever since. First things first - I had to get my husband off the damned rig he was on!! So the company he works for is brilliant in situations like this and they had him flown to Adelaide within 12hours of receiving my 'ummmm I think our surrogate might be in early labour' email. I have come down to Adelaide as well (yesterday) and now we are staying here until tomorrow afternoon so that we can physically walk in to 'our' travel agency and discuss our options at length with the lovely Amelia . . .'our' Travel Consultant. And of course there's a catch . . . It seems we have struck that ONE guy at the visa processing dept in Sydney that is hell BENT on making visa attainment nigh on impossible! Long story short - I have got my tourist visa - no problem - but to get my husbands Medical visa I've had to send SO MANY EXTRA documents (that I've had to request from SCI each time and wait for time delays etc etc ) that has basically meant that my husband does NOT have a visa and lord knows if he ever freakin' will..... Aaagggghhhhh!! Soooooooo we are currently planing our lives one hour at a time and hanging on to each email update. Our next one is due in the next couple of hours. There was so much I was going to blog about recently but if it hasn't been the visa hoo-ha it's been the two week battle Ive had with cold/gastro germs hoo-ha or my finishing up at work . . . For two years hoo-ha. And now of course now it's the old' your surrogate is having mild contractions hoo-ha ha HAAAAAAA!!!! . . . So like they do in the movies when someone goes in to labour someone needs to start boiling some water and someone needs to start ripping some sheets into rags!!!!! If our baby could at least delay his or her grand entrance by another 24hours then I believe we will be at 36 weeks! Stay tuned! XX Ps this is my first blog attempt from my new iPad so a thousand apologies for any technical hitches or blatantly bad spelling! :)

Woo Hoo 32 Weeks after Uncomfortable 24 Hours

We would like to inform you that Dr. Shivani has reviewed the reports & found everything fine except "Single circum nuchal loop of cord seen".

OK - Not quite the slide in to 32 weeks that I had envisaged i.e. - no email from India for 24 hours + 2 emails from me + rising anxiety and imagination overload + trying to keep it real + snipets of info to say scan was indeed done when scheduled - but reports couldn't be printed - technical hitch - so nothing sent - then another snipet to confirn that despite this the scan was good - then not long after that - the full report and scan emailled through at about 5pm last night. Phhheeeeeeewww!!!  That's all I needed to hear! Followed by apologetic emails from India and a small change in future policies.

I know how easy it is to say things like "you must be calm, it is just a paperwork delay, these things happen" but the thing is - I didn't know that! I didn't know anything! I had unimaginable scenarios going on in my head because my telepathic powers were switched off and I couldn't actually see what was going on in Delhi - after ten years of bad scenarios it's difficult to think happy thoughts at a time like that.  Having said all that - it was just an unfortunate alignment of the moons - I wouldn't swap anyone in the team for anyone else!! I have the utmost respect and faith in everyone - sometimes things just happen and a lot of the time they happen to me ha ha.

So like I said - not the smoothest, most graceful of transitions in to Week 32 but I am super happy to be out the other side. We have a healthy sounding baby - who I see is trying to wrap a cord around its neck (which I'm not even going to stress about because I am sure that will be fine ......) and I can continue on with Operation: "Departing Australia" and it's associated challenges. 

Visa's are interesting - The Visa people from visainfo.inau@vfshelpline.com have said "We wish to inform you that you are required to apply for Indian Tourist visa" when asked what visa's my husband (the genetic father) and I need. However every other piece of evidence seems to say "Medical Visa" for him so will have to go with that one I think.....

Nerve Endings

Our 32 week scan was scheduled yesterday - but despite hitting the send/receive button twenty thousand times on my computer from 8pm to 4am - it just didn't turn up. So now I'm staying calm and re-assuring myself that this is NOT a bad sign - and the scan simply got bumped to today! I have sent a two-sentence email to Lalit and I'm sure everything will be okaaaaaay!!! .....

Picking up the Pace

As the weeks slip by - and we approach our 32 week scan - I am starting to think I need to blog more regularly (weekly?) - as things are starting to really happen much faster now!

For starters, I have (at the suggestion of my close friend) started up a "closed" facebook page that includes all of my nearest and dearest facebook friends. As I was setting it up the other night -  it just went NUTS!!! I was trying to post my reasons for setting it up and explaining a bit of the process to them but at the same time (out of NOWHERE) everyone invited into the group seemed to be on-line AT ONCE and were posting comments left right and centre and I didn't stand a chance!!! For half an hour it almost melted the wiring on my laptop and by the time I posted that I "needed to go lie down" my heart was pumping at a rate of knots and I couldn't sleep for hours!! How much love can one girl handle? I repeat - I love my little community - they are just awesome!

Secondly - it was decided the other night - at another close friends 'spontaneous birthday drinks' - that despite objections - there should be a Baby Shower!! Hey WHAT?? No! Seriously - aren't they for the Y-gens??? Or at least the much younger X-gens??? No - apparently they're not. Apparently it's also perfectly normal for a 43, soon to be 44 year old first time mum to have a Baby Shower - and basically its happening with or without me so its my choice to turn up or not.

Baby Shower happening 1st of July.

Might be handy - I still haven't bought a single item. Or even thought about a nursery. To it's name this poor baby still just has a highchair, a half knitted cardigan (from Nana) and now a "Love and Lullabies" wooden word.

Thirdly - and Finally - I THINK I am on the BRINK of buying my first ever iPad! Yes - I know - I may be the last known person to do this in the Western World - but sometimes you can't rush these things!! And no - I don't own an iPhone either. Or an iAnything else. But what has changed my mind now .......... is that this laptop I'm typing to you on - seems to weigh a tonne. And kg's = excess baggage = Many $$ so maybe the time has come the walrus said to consider joining the 21st century?

So - it seems I need to buy an iPad2 because the iPad3 won't work out here in the sticks (so for the Aussies amongst us this means it needs to be NextG compatable) - I'm also looking at getting a 32gig one - and a separate "card reader" so that I can load photos straight from my camera (SD card) onto the iPad. My MAIN concern now is the same BIG problem that anyone with an iAnything seems to complain about when they go overseas - in that their iAnything drains all of their money out of the universe by continuously trying to search for their normal local network back home - i.e. Telstra back here in Australia.

Help! (again) Can this be easily remedied? Do I just need to buy a pre-paid SIM card in India for my iPad? And how easy IS that? And will it get chewed up in no time or does a reasonable amount of money last a reasonable amount of time? What is everyone else going to do (or have done) to communicate from New Delhi?? Once again I am open to every single piece of advice and thank you immensely in advance for any!! XX   

Winter Wonderland

To Sum Up: It's cold - We've cleared the 28th hurdle - We've booked our flights - and - We've 'told the town'!!!!

To Expand: We were holding out for our 28 week scan on May 28th but due to the conference in Melbourne I think a lot of scans were brought forward (no arguments here) so we were pleasantly surprised to find the "doing fine & her pregnancy is growing well" email waiting for us on Saturday 26th!! Our little bunny has heard about my previous posts and doesn't appear overly impressed. Either that or s/he is midway through a very complicated mathematical equation that may one day save planet earth and ensure world wide peace and harmony throughout the land. Who knows?   

Once we received the 'all clear' I immediately started to worry (because that's what I do best) that the GA was 26 weeks and 6 days and by my calculations we should have been closer to 29 weeks in reality. Several emails ensued but my mind has now been restored to calm and I need to leave the mathmatics to more qualified beings like 'Miffy' there.

So - with this hurdle cleared we decided it was time to start letting some cats out of the bag. It was becoming more and more intense and borderline impossible to arrange 'stuff' without letting anyone know why were arranging 'stuff'. For example - 2 years leave from work - a sudden interest in Playgroup hours......

We decided to throw a couple of impromptu dinner parties starting with Monday night (28th May). The timing of all this (of course) couldn't have been 'more complicated' if we'd tried because it was also 'Seeding Time' in our 'Farming World' . Did I mention that we were Farmers when we're not working in the Oil & Gas fields (him) or Nursing in Primary Health Care (me) - possibly not - sorry about that - we are! So we have two 'bits of land' (no don't get excited they really are just 'bits of land' we're not big aussie station owners or anything super impressive like that) - and anyway one 'bit' is 5km out the road that we use for grazing cattle, raising chooks, securing solar panels to sheds and storing the fishing boat and tractor etc. The other ' bit of land' is 100km away and used mostly for growing crops on. This is the 'bit of land' that my  poor hasband had to drive frantically to and from in-between each 'dinner party' in order to get as much crop sown as possible while all of the other moons were aligned .... trust me - it was hectic!!

So our dinner parties have happened now and our exciting news has been broken. The resulting days have been INSANE! Our 'good news story ' has blanketed the whole town and some of the district and we are just so grateful to be part of the nicest, most loving most supportive community in the whole wide damned world!! There have been enough tears to sink a ship, enough hugs to bruise a rib and enough sqeals to pierce an ear!! The love and support is absolutley everywhere and popping down the street for milk and bread now all but ends in a ticker-tape parade!! It's just too hard to put into words how everyone has been reacting and I am getting all 'thingy' now just typing about it so I might need to move on sorry ...

I'll just talk about the weather for a minute! That's a neutral subject! Well it's REALLY FREAKIN' COLD HERE AT THE MOMENT!!! I'm throwing logs on the fire as we sit here and everytime I have to go outside .... to get more logs .... I lose the sensation in my fingers!!! OK tiny bit theatrical - it's not like it snows here or anything - and in fact the scene from my front verandah looks the same as it did in my last post - but this is what the mornings look like .....

Not pretty! That's our poor ol' fig tree surrounded by frost covered pea-straw - it's always a miracle that anything survives to Spring. I'm always surprised I do!!! I'm not that good in the cold weather!!

OK back on track now... I forgot to mention earlier that we've booked our flights!!! Wooah that was a brave moment!! So unless Miffy arrives early we will be flying out of Australia on July 26th. That will equate to roughly 37 and a bit weeks - again with the maths - so lets just wait and see how that works out for us.....

Our next - and very crucial "32 week - and viable" scan is due on June 25th. My degree of anxiety is rising appropriately with each passing day and I'm randomly holding my breath whenever I think about it. Please stay with us little one.

To End Off: One more photo that represents another poignant moment in our 'longest-journey-ever'...... from a very thoughtful friend ..... our baby's first ever baby present. XX

I Love Autumn

So while we're all on the edge of our seats waiting for little Miss Looking for Baby to arrive in Washington DC I thought I'd take some time to check-in and say Hi!

Hi everyone! xx

Thank you all soooo much for the wonderful information you have volunteered about the different accommodation choices in Delhi. I have spent some time (yes - 'Itchy Scratchy') compiling it all and creating a handy little 2-pager that compares each option rather than each post and - I LOVE it - it's GREAT - but I can't work out how to attach it to this jolly post so if someone could tell me how to make that happen that would be great! (PS: I am quietly proud of myself for getting that hyperlink in!!) I haven't had the correct time-zone on my blog since - forever - just reminding everyone of my limited skills in this field!

By all accounts we 'should be' at the '27 Weeks and 4 Days' point today - and oh what a lovely day it is outside! I should really be out and in it! Crystal blue skies - insignificant white whispy clouds - no wind and a temp around the 22degC mark. In fact - I'll go and take a photo and show you ......

This was taken two minutes ago from my front verandah! As you can see our front lawn is starting to go off in the cooler months (we've had several nasty frosts already) and the bloody cockatoos have eaten one of those gum trees across the road - but all in all it's lovely to sit out the front there. We like to enjoy a beer in the summer and watch the joggers go by ha ha.

Getting back to my last post - "24 Weeks and we go LIVE" - our big reveal to the rest of my family was sensational.

As mentioned I had to tell my brother the night before (on his own as it turned out) - but in the scheme of things it didn't matter and his reaction was just so precious becasue as it turns out his wife (my sister-in-law) is now 14 weeks pregnant so (god willing) the two little cousins will be a mere 3 months apart!! How great would that be?? Also 300km apart but nonetheless - there's SKYPE!

So by the time the offical 'big reveal' arrived the next day (Sat 12th May) I was down to one set of parents (mine) and one sister who was there to hear the news for the first time. My other sister and her little family (the ones who came up to visit before) were also there which was magic!! Anyway - the place was PACKED full of people because it was the day before Mothers Day of course. It was quite noisy and my dad is quite hard of hearing. Oh yes. So I knew from the outset my news would need to be broadcast across the room at a volume nearing boom-box intensity but so be it! I waited for all of our meals to be eaten (nervoulsy and with beer) and then 'BOMBS AWAY'!!

I was soooo surprised by my dads heartfelt joy and elation that I promptly stopped talking, burst into tears and hugged him (all very 'Home and Away'!!). I wasn't too sure how he would react - but obviously I wasn't expecting that! As for my mother and sister - well - they are completely overjoyed as well!! Completely! My mother wants to start knitting things asap and my sister is planning little sleepovers already! Again with the 300km - but hey - where there's a will there's a way!!!

My brother-in-law (are you still with me? the one who already knew the news) jumped up as soon as I belted out "I have a bit of news...."  and ran over to the bar and so while I was telling my story (and blubbering all over the place) a bottle of champagne and multiple glasses magically appeared and everyone started drinking toasts left right and centre -  I was in another world!!

So the BIG REVEAL got a little bit BIGGER that day and I have those memories now forever. After the meal at the Hotel we went back to my nearest sisters house and we all watched 'Black Caviar' the freakishly good Aussie Racehorse win his 21st race in a row at Morphetville (Adelaide) and of course we toasted that as well ha ha! GO HORSEY!! Of course with every elation I immediately have conflicting demons pop into my head (what if .... what if ....) but for that day at least I chose to ignore them and enjoyed every moment until bedtime. It was an early night for me tho - knackered and out to it by 8.30pm! What a stayer!!

So here I am today. Still haven't bought a single item for the baby (excepting our family high-chair at mum and dad's clearing sale - and that's a story for another day) - and despite my plans to buy a bunny I haven't done that either. Our next scan is due May 28th and that should herald us in to the 29th Week so maybe that's when I'll lash out and buy a bootie or two  .....     

Phone-A-Friend

Dearest Blog-land,

We are finally reaching the point of - 'OMG this is really happening'sville". And as you know we (aka "I") haven't exactly gone overboard on the prep work yet (i.e. hello zero's-ville!)

Oh and incidentally my well thought out plan to break the big news to the rest of my family already has hairline cracks as my brother (sister-in-law and second youngest neice) accidentally got their dates mixed up and turned up to our family luncheon last Saturday instead of this Saturday - oops & bugger - and as luck would have it now can't get to lunch this Saturday because of a first birthday party somehwere else (crap & crap) - and yes I'm sure they would come to this luncheon if they really knew what was going on but then having to tell them feels like spoiling it and/or guilting them into going etc and blah blah that's just not how I wanted it to go down etc and it's hard to explain but  .... sigh and ahhh. So  now I have to go down and tell them separately the night before everyone else gets to hear because that's the time that suits best etc and yeash deflating balloons and all that - but that's just how life is isn't it? So move on...

Ok so probably the REAL reason why I am blogging tonight is to ask the big ol 'DELHI ACCOMMODATION QUESTION ... (yes - that old chestnut people...).

Clearly I need to give some serious consideration to booking something to sleep in soon  ... but procastination works well for me too so let's just say ummmm - the day following our next positive scan result (?). Anyway with this in mind I would REALLY appreciate some honest feedback from our surrogacy vets out there (as well as our more-well-prepared-than-me) SCI Bloggers who have already sorted this sort of stuff out!

PLEASE! IF you have already stayed or booked any of the following accommodation options within the last few years please tell me/us - what you liked most about it (or why you've booked it) - what you liked least about it and whether you would stay there again (i.e. whilst awaiting the delivery of your baby and then the exit India process)..............    

And the nominees are :

1) SVELTE HOTEL
2) INDIA LUXURY HOME (SERVICE APPARTMENTS)
3) TULIP APPARTMENT (SERVICE APPARTMENT)
4) GREEN LEAF APARTMENT
5) APARTMENT 18
6) HOTEL PARKLAND
7) HOTEL IMPERIAL
8) HOTEL AMARA
9) HOTEL VELVET APPLE:
10) HOTEL GLITTER

 Have I mentioned already just how grateful I would be? XXXXXXXXXX..............

24 Weeks and we go 'LIVE'

We have finally taken that big bold step from Blog-World to Real-World and told a real-life-person (or two) our news! That's it - TWO real-life-persons - but that's a start right? Don't want to over do it!

We asked SCI to please bring our 24-week scan forward by 48 hours (to Friday 27th April) to let us share the news with my visiting sister and her husband. They (SCI) were only too happy to oblige and got really excited about the prospect themselves! Encouraging!

Anyway - They (the entourage) arrived at our place late on the Friday night (300km) with three very wired kids in tow. There was much excitement and bouncing off the walls (3 hours in a car seat does that to a kid) and in between bounces I surreptitously checked my emails waiting for the (fingers crossed) good news! Finally at 10.55pm it arrived! Yes - Dr. Shivani has reviewed the reports & found everything fine with the scan - YES! - and Yes - we were all still up - and still bouncing off the walls. But it just didn't feel like the right time to drop the bombshell and then say - OK then well that's it I'm off to bed - nightie night everyone!

So we waited........

........ And dropped the bombshell the next morning while the three little poppets were riding their bikes around the house (through the car shed and down the driveway). My sister and her husband thought we were about to announce our plans for the weekend and were thinking perhaps a hit of golf or a visit to the local footy oval - but ah no - the thing is, we've got a baby growing in another woman's uterus over in India that we made with yet another woman's eggs and oh yes she also lives in India and perhaps you've heard of the clinic becasue every time they do a tv documentary about surrogacy in India they seem to interview our Doctor and she always seems to speak so well and we love her and oh yeah the other thing is the baby has made it to 24 weeks and we'll be flying over to India in about 3 months time if not earlier .......................

tick .................................................   holy ...................... crap.....................

Oh MY God THAT'S W*O*N*D*E*R*F*U*L!!!!! Aaaaagggghhhhhh!!!! Eeeeekkkkkkkkk!!!!!!! Followed by Much rejoicing and hugging and hoopla La-ing and OMG'ing and frantic hand gestures and more OMG'ing and questions and more OMG'ing and laughs and little jigs etc and yep - you get the picute. It's fair to say my sister and her husband are behind us 10,000% on this one!! And all the time with three little poppets riding their bikes round and round yelling out 'look at me! look at me!'

So after taking off on THAT rocket fuelled high we found ourselves trying to wind it down a notch or two (sigh) and just re-confirming that nothing's ever concrete until you're actually holding a baby and how the journey has already been marred with the loss of a twin etc But still - it's so great to finally have it out there!

GREAT but scary.

And so we're not in any big rush to tell the rest of the world yet - we just don't want to jinx it!!! So here's the plan. I would MUCH prefer to tell the rest of my family (one set of parents, one sister, one brother, one sister-in-law and one brother in-law) face-to-face rather than over the phone or in an email (ick) and as there's no more impending trips planned by anyone as yet to come up here, we will wait until I get down there to them! Luckily that's in a weeks time now so not too long really. We are all going out to lunch to 'catch up' on Saturday 12th May and then it will be 'BOMBS AWAY'!! I am expecting a tentatively mixed response (perhaps from mum & dad) and I won't have my husband with me which is unfortunate (bloody work) but am hoping for more of the same (above) from everyone else.  I guess you just never know though do you .......!

Finally; Following the awsomeness of our last Scan pictures in March (3D Bunny) I can barely make out what s/he is up to in these (suddenly shy?) but when Dr Shivani says that everything is fine then I have absolute faith that it is!

My love and friendship goes out to everyone sharing this cyber world with me and I hope to read many promising updates soon and for a long time to come!!

For those of you awaiting the all important BFP news - My special thoughts are with you.

Jacaranda XX

Itchy Scratchy

It is 'Itchy Scratchy' time again! The flush of confidence following our (beautiful bunny) 20 week scan is starting to wane again as we head towards the 24 week point. No reason to feel glum AT ALL - but for reasons I cannot fathom I do .... Not helped in ANY small part by just sitting down to watch (why do I DO this to myself) that series on SBS tv called "Waiting For A Heartbeat."

Jeez Louise I should just go in and manually rip out my own heart!! Many of you have perhaps seen it? I am sure it was made several years ago and followed the stories of several "me's" (which is easier to say than "Us's") on their journeys through multiple miscarriages and how St Marys in the UK was offering 'new hope.' I found myself saying - don't listen to them (the experts) - don't listen to those stats - don't get hopeful - no - no - no - then sure enough one by one each story deteriorated. Oooohhhh MaaaaaN why did I put the tellie on AT ALL?? Someone change the channel!! My husband is away at work again unfortunately so unless the microwave decided to take control no-one was listening. Thankfully one girl - Rachel - went home with a baby at least so YAY RACHEL!! And then I remembered HANG ON ...... !  

That's NOT me - there IS a baby. There IS a baby and by all accounts - he/she is going great guns! SNAP OUT OF IT WOMAN!!!!!

Oh but I just get so itchy scratchy anxious at about this time. This time - halfway between scans - is like littlies learning to walk and hanging on to someone's hand and then letting go and warbling across the room to lunge heavily into the other hand.  I'm halfway across the room and warbling up a storm ....

Our next scan has been brought forward (at my request) by 48 hours so that we will have the opportunity to tell our 'first REAL LIVE IN THE FLESH people'. My sister, her husband and three little poppetts are coming up to visit on Friday 27th April. This is now our new scan date. IF the news is good news - we have decided to road test the 'big reveal' on them (a bit of a thank you for driving all this way to see us) - and then bravely moving on to bigger 'reveal' numbers after that. IF, on the other hand the news is bad then, with the inclusion of my totally wonderfully loving husband, I couldn't ask for a better, more supportive security blanket.

The posts in Blogland of late have again been so lovely and positive - thank god - so many new beautiful babies in the world. I cyber hug you ALL! To the rest of you warbling around the room with me - stay strong and don't turn on the bloody tv!!!!!!       

Our 20 week old Bunny Rabbit xx oo

So our beautiful little darling is sending out his/her first ever message to mum and dad - "I want a rabbit" - "I want a rabbit and I want it with floppy ears please" - you got it Sweetheart (and lovely manners)! One little bunny rabbit coming right up!! Would you like it in pink or blue??? Perhaps we'll hold off on a real one just for the time being but maybe - after today - I might get brave enough to make my first ever baby purchase ..... hmmmm a stuffed bunny .... who would have ever thought it would be a stuffed bunny?? OH WAIT - I get it - you're reminding it's EASTER!! Is that it?? EASTER BUNNY!!! Holy Toledo - am I having a gifted child?? Really?? So do you still want the bunny or just a load of eggs in decorative foil?? .... hmmmm .... I think we'll stick with the bunny shall we? No need to meet the Tooth Fairy before you've even got a tooth!!

So yes - here we are - I am so very relieved, happy and proud to introduce you to our darling little 20 week old cherub! We have spent a very long day today helping my parents with their Clearing Sale (1.5 Hrs away). So it's been a big day but we've also had 'scan day' on our minds, so that's made it even bigger. This evening I have rushed home again - knackered - quickly rev'ed up the computer and scanned the incoming emails like a mad woman on crack. There it was - breeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeath in - and - click to open - and scan scan scan - no time to blink - scan scan scan - ahhhh the words I am looking for again:- We are happy to inform you that Dr. Shivani has reviewed the reports & found everything within normal limit.


JOY TO THE WORLD!!!!!!!! Fa La LA LAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! xo xo


And to our many new SCI Blog-friends who continue to amaze us with their honest and heart felt updates - we thank you so much and I for one send e-hugs to you all. We seem to be in quite a 'baby peak hour' at the moment which just makes the experience so much  better and more managable - to all you little newborns out there (are you listending Hayden?) - please keep getting stronger every day, and start bracing for a life full of love and cuddles ............... and stuffed bunnies??      

Time Wasters

I have been thoroughly enjoying the rush of posts in the last few days - all of the ones I have been reading seem to be filled with good and/or positively entertaining news. Thank you so much and well done!! I am so sorry if you have received sad news and are now wondering what freakin' planet I am on - I assure you I have not read your post and my biggest warmest hugs reach out to you my friend!

As for me - I am almost into that next final week that leads up to another milestone scan and therefore am getting all itchy scratchy again!! Our 20 week scan (yes it's a biggie!) is due on March 31st and so by April 1st I may well have hyper-ventilated myself into one hell of an anxious messy state on the floor!! Joy.

Anyway - as per usual I am looking for useless mindless tasks that help me to pass the time (that ISN'T housework or real work related) - and last weekend I got it into my head that I needed to know - in table form - what the last 10 years of infertilty has looked like!!! Yeah I know - some people get a pet!!

So I went through all of my diarys and re-lived the light and dark days of our infertility 'challenge'. The table below will most likely cause your eyes to cross over and your brain to ache so I don't really expect you to read it - but it has certainly helped me to see our struggle in a snap shot - and to reflect on why we have become the people we are (perhaps) today. Fancy being able to condense so much pain into such a tiny little piece of paper! Has anyone else done this exercise??

My husband and I started our 'challenge' in 2002 and by 2005 had lost 4 naturally conceived pregnancies (before 10 weeks).

We then hopped on the 'IVF Train' and had NO IDEA of the itinerary and if we HAD known the itinerary - we would have got back OFF the bloody train IMMEDIATELY and just emailled SCI that afternoon!!!!!

But ..... we didn't .... so we couldn't and you know how it goes - what doesn't kill you makes you stronger so we are Mr and Mrs Strongo-bongo from the Congo ha ha hear us ROAR!!

So here's my very pretty chart that no-one will be able to understand that has helped me waste a good 6 hours in its production! We are yet to experience the joy of parenthood - so to everyone else - like us - waiting on the next bit of scan news Love Love LOVE to you!!!

Jacaranda xx
     

Own ICSI Cycles 2005 - 2008	Eggs Retrieved	Eggs Fertilised	Eggs Frozen	Eggs Arrested (or did not make to freeze/transfer)	No. Eggs Transfrd
1st	2	2	-	1	1
2nd	8	6	3	1	2
FET	-	-	-	-	2
FET	-	-	-	-	1
3rd	(3 follicles but 0 eggs)	-	-	-	-
4th	2	2	0	1	1 (5th pregnancy)
5th	2	1	0	1	0
6th	6	5	0	3	2
7th	5	1	0	1	0
8th	2	0	0	2	0
OWN TOTALS	27	17	3	10	9
(then) Aussie Friend(s) Donor Egg ICSI Cycles 2008 - 2010
9th	13	11	2	8	1 (6th pregnancy)
FET	-	-	-	-	1
FET	-	-	-	-	1
10th	28	14	2	10	2 (7th pregnancy)
(then) Frozen (Aussie Donor Egg + Own Sperm) Embryo transferred to Indian Surrogate 2011	-	-	-	-	2
(then) Indian Egg Donor + Own (frozen) Sperm ICSI Cycle using Indian Surrogate 2011 - 2012	?	?	?	?	2 (8th ‘pregnancy’)
Grand TOTALS	68+	42+	7+	28+	18