First things first - our lovely Surrogate is GOOD and our lovely baby is GOOD - and our lovely Baby is still inside our lovely Surrogate - so that is EXTREMELY GOOD - so not everything is BAD about today - by any stretch and so I am super duper grateful for that!! ................. however .................... I just want to cry!!
It's all about my husbands [swear word] visa. We are at our whits end now and just want to crawl into a ball and hide under the bed. Why are they picking on US?? I lodged the Medical Visa application forms for him - online as instructed - on June 29th!! That's .... let me count .... 22 days ago. We were advised to wait until we were 32 weeks into our pregnancy to start organising these sorts of things ... we received our 32 weeks scan on June 26th. So my first tip now is - perhaps take that piece of advice and subtract a few weeks from it!!
My second piece of advice is to completely ignore the bit on the website that says "the preferred method" to submit your hardcopy application and supporting documents including your passport etc is to send it all via registered post to SYDNEY!
DO NOT DO THIS!!
Even if you live miles and miles from your capital city - as we do - I strongly suggest you completely distrupt your lives and make the long [swear word] journey to whereever they suggest you go as the 'second option' and WAIT IN A QUEUE for the indeterminate amount of time it takes to get the job done or at least speak to a HUMAN!!!!
Foolishly it seems we have done everything they have asked of us - jumped through a gazillion unprecedented hoops - and left feeling wretched for it! Yes I'm upset, and I'm getting more upset as I type this and I need to caaaaaaaalm down!! There is still no visa and nothing of comfort coming from the 'India Passport & Visa Services Centre - VFS Services Australia' in Sydney to let us know there ever will be!!
So with no possible way for a visa to arrive here in time now (it takes 'Registered Post' 4 days to get from Sydney to our remote town in SA) - we need to cancel my husbands half of our ticket scheduled for next Thursday (July 26th) - and re-schedule for who-freakin'-knows-when!!
Sooooooo - I am going to New Delhi on my own and I have no idea if/when my husband can ever join me. Bit too 'Home and Away' dramatic? - I feel too sick in the stomach to care. I know I won't be the first to do this trip on my own - by any stretch - jeez by any stretch at ALL - and I know I will cope perfectly FINE - and at the end of the day our baby and our surrogate are FINE (and even discharged from the hospital now) so everything's REALLY FINE ...... but ..... okaaaay I am going to stop now and make myself a cup of something camomil-esque . . . .
And someone needs to cyber-slap me!!
Hardly surprising you're upset. We all would be in the same situation. Are you able to track the progress of your husband's application online? There should be a tracking number on your receipt (or email confirmation that the application has been received) - at least you won't have to wait til it's in your hands to know when it's been approved. Hope the visa is granted very soon.
ReplyDeleteI guess we have to do what we have to do...but know once it's all behind you it will be forgotten. I know easy for me to say. Hang in there...! Baby and surro are doing well...woo hoo!!!
ReplyDeleteOK so I went for a really big bike ride - and peddled my heart out to some really boom boom Top40 - and I must say I am feeling much better. Have also given my hormones a stern talking to and they've agreed to lighten up. Nothing's changed of course - still going to New Delhi on my own - still no sign of the visa ETA despite practically begging in my last email (and yes there has been multiple correspondances - to no avail) but at least now I think I have come to terms with the "new" plan . . . . that's all it is really isn't it - a new plan - just go with it and "it will be alright...." Pay the extra money and go with it ..... zennnnnnnnnnnnn
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's a pipe dream, but I'd wait until the 24 hours prior to takeoff before changing that ticket. Between then and now, check your tracking number to see the last place it was said to be. Then, forget the emails and start calling them. Emails are much easier to ignore than phone calls. Also, if there is a website that gives information about the administration of that processing place, look for the name of the person who is the highest in charge you can find. When you call, ask for them (casually, so to blend in as if it's just another phone call). See if the people with power can be reached and are willing to help you.
ReplyDeleteAs for being alone in India, I know how this feels as I just did it myself. Granted, it was not with a baby so I don't know that level of stress! But, I would say to call Rachna and let her know about the change in plans. Get the number for the baby nurse lady, and start a notebook with information you'll need while there (baby nurse number, Rachna's cell, Rahul's cell, Dr. S cell, etc., hotel name and address/phone for custom's paperwork, passport number, hospital and doctor contact information, etc). Do as much as you can think of to try and cover the bases your hubby would normally help with in that way. Open a Skype account for both you and your husband, then load it on all laptops and cell phones. If he can't physically be there, he can at least see the baby and you in real time that way. Finally, and this is perhaps the best advice I can give you, try to make some connections with people you know are there. If you can find allies in the hotel/city, you'll have people to form a community with. Even having someone to sit with and talk to at breakfast is comforting!
Your family is in my thoughts and prayers as you get ready to make this important trip over! Best wishes!
Excellent points!
DeleteYes I agree EXCELLENT points! Thank you so much! Am working my way through your suggestions now! x
DeleteI ditto Allie, keep the pressure on with phonecalls, the sci guys will help, let them know you may have to change your plans, re check your luggage, your hubbys case might be the one carrying the one thing you needed, thinking of you and praying both you and your hubby get to go out toghter to meet your baby :) xx
ReplyDeleteGosh, things have changed BIG time with visa's since we started heading to India over four years ago. We're in Adelaide and I don't believe there would be any benefit in heading to your nearest capital city to drop off the application as (assuming things haven't changed on this front!!), no applications are processed here. It was purely drop off your application, check everything was submitted, hand over your $$s and be given a tracking number. Everything got sent interstate for processing. So agree with Allie and Gee, start dialling!!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd you will cope in Delhi on your own, it sounds like it's a non stop party over there. Again, so so different from our surrogacy journey (in Mumbai).
Will be checking in regularly to see how you're going. And let me know if there's anything I can do for you from this end that will save you a 600km drive.
Gosh i understand why you are so worried i hope it sorts itself very very soon!!!
ReplyDeleteWe are arriving in Delhi on the 25th july so if you need company we are here with you!!!
best wishes
lisa x
Since you can't start your exit process (once baby is born) until hubby is there, this is worrying.
ReplyDeleteTruly hoping the delay is only due to the fact that informing the Visa office about surrogacy is new protocol and they are just learning the ropes, very unfortunately at your expense.
Ditto to Allie 100% regarding phone calls to the embassy, call call call although I totally understand the preference for emails as at least you have something in writing.
At least baby is staying put, hoping this is the case till hubby can be there.
Sigh....the precarious road we travel : (
Thinking of you xo
I agree with everything everyone else says (especially Bear and Allie) with there advice on badgering the embassy.
ReplyDeleteTry and think positive also, it's great that you as Australians don't have anywhere near the 12 weeks plus exit process that us Brits have so take solace in that...also focus on the fact your baby and surrogate are both fine. and *cyber slap* as per request and now breeeeath and believe in your destiny. Somehow you'll work everything out. :D
SR x
This is all you need! I have only just put our visa apps in and am waiting nervously. So hope that common sense kicks in, how are we suppose to pick up our babies otherwise? Crazy!
ReplyDeleteI agree to hold off cancelling the flight. This is certainly NOT the stress you want just a week before you are set to depart!!
ReplyDeleteI have done the Delhi trip twice alone and its not too bad. Just make sure to connect with other IP's to have some social time, that helps hugely!
Keep us posted!
Oh, and I forgot..YAY that baby and surrogate are doing well. That's a blessinG!
ReplyDeleteThis ogling nonsense from VFS Services in Australia has been going on ever since that stupid notice on the Canberra website was put up, around 7-8 months ago. It appears on every Indian HC website in the world. SCI has been trying to get information about the correct visa to use for more than six months now, both inside India and from Canberra. The sorry tale is that VFS in each state says something different. In Perth we have people travelling on tourist visas for baby pickup, they are in and out with no issues. Some (including Bob) travelled on a medical visa, granted within 4 days, as have other medical visa for other Australians. In Victoria one guy was told to apply for an entry visa, which is clearly (according to the Indian HC website, only available to people of INdian origin, which he is not. He submitted his application, it was rejected, so he then had to wait some more and apply for another visa, I don't know what.
ReplyDeleteFrom our investigations, and those made by Surrogacy Australia, there is no clear visa on which to travel. One would think that the decision would come from Indian HC in Canberra, they are, after all, the ones who actually approve the visa and put it in your passport. But can they help? No, they have been the worst so farm giving the run around with the entry visa.
As usual, emails go unanswered, and no matter what any of us do, there is no clear or uniform procedureAustralia-wide, we are all still trying to get clarity, which is difficult when no-one returns a call or an email!!!
Go tourist visa I say, and save yourselves the drama. Sorry you're in this position. I agree, don't change hubby's flight until the very last minute. Let me know if I can do anything Meg xxx
You have every right to be furious - I think we would all be tearing out pieces of hair.
ReplyDeleteOn another note: I'm so glad to hear surro and baby are doing well. You will be there shortly.
Lots of good advice here, so I won't repeat what has already been said. I have an app on my iPhone called iTranslate that I've played with a few times and it will deliver the Hindi equivalent of what you speak in English. Pretty cool, though I don't know the practicality of it. Maybe good in an emergency.
Best of luck! I'm sure you will be fine when it is all said and done.